I really enjoy reading through the psalms, especially the ones by David. One of the main reasons I enjoy them is that he makes me feel a little bit normal again. He seems to struggle with the same stuff I struggle with, and yet he didn’t seem to mind voicing his opinions and struggles to God. He didn’t feel uncomfortable saying to God things like:
“Answer me quickly, Lord; my spirit fails” (Psalm 143)
“Hear my prayer, Lord; let my cry for help come to You…In my distress I groan aloud and am reduced to skin and bones” (Psalm 102)
“Why, Lord, do You reject me and hide Your face from me?” (Psalm 88)
“O God, do not remain silent; do not turn a deaf ear, do not stand aloof, O God” (Psalm 83)
Maybe you’ve read these verses or verses like them enough that you merely brush over them, and take them as part and parcel of the psalm. I know I often do. But recently I have been thinking – when last did my prayers sound like that? When last did I question God on something that was bugging me? When last did you? You see, as I read those verses, I realise two things that together make me appreciate David’s prayers so much more. Firstly, I think to myself – “My prayers don’t sound like that most of the time.” Now, that would be fine, if I the second thought didn’t slap me square in the face. The second thought as I read the Psalms is that I suddenly feel human again. I think: “Wow, David felt like that too!” I realise that David had the same doubts in his mind that I have, and that he messed up in his life in very similar ways to me. And so, reading his honest songs written to God, I feel human and understood.So, on the one side, I don’t pray like David does. And if I didn’t have any questions or doubts like he so obviously did, that would make sense. But, on the other side, I do have those doubts. I do feel at times as if I have been abandoned or as if God is turning a deaf ear.
The humbling lesson for me as I read the psalms is this: Maybe I don’t feel close enough to God to voice my real thoughts and opinions. I feel this random sense of obligation as a Christian to cover up my feelings of doubt that hit me every now and then. I want to encourage you to take the time to go back to each of those quotes at the top of this post and grab your bible and read through the psalm. The whole psalm. You see, when I take the verses on their own, they paint a stick figure outline of a guy who had doubts and wasn’t afraid to voice them. Don’t stop there though – see what happens to David as he bravely voices his doubts: His faith and love for God grows. Check it out – no matter where David starts in his songs, he almost always finishes by praising and worshipping God.
This paradox is pretty cool, and I enjoy it every time I have the guts to question God on something. He meets me where I am at and makes me feel more loved and more secure in Him than before. But this only comes when I step out and voice what I am already secretly thinking anyway. My point is this: Don’t be afraid to question God if you have questions for Him. As David did, do it with humility; but don’t ignore your thoughts and questions. Bring them to Him bravely and humbly and I guarantee You He will meet you where you are. He who created the universe is not afraid of the questions of a human being like me.
Stu
